day 86-not giving in to temptation and staying positive

every situation brings with it it's own unique sets of ups and downs. being away from each other brings a bit more of freedom for the both of us. it has it's advantages and definitely it's disadvantages. I cannot stop me from knowing new people and neither can i stop ying ying from the same and certainly i cannot control who would be the new people i would meet which goes the same for her. and definitely i cannot stop a girl who would decide to like me nor can ying ying control a guy going up to her and try to hit up on her. during these moments, you must rely on the strength of your relationship. that both of you would not be foolish enough to put the relationship at risk. temptations are everywhere, it doesn't necessarily have to be another person but also actions that would hurt me or her.  I should remember that she placed her trust on me and i should take care of that for the rest of the time we will be together. Trust would play a very critical role in a long distance relationship. it is one the foundations that holds the relationship up. mess that up and the relationship crumbles. you cannot continue to be in a relationship where you cannot trust your partner because it will only bring you unnecessary pain, paranoia, fear, and stress. i am pretty sure me and ying ying's resolve to preserve this relationship would be tested as we move along. it is up for us to weather those times and resist the temptations that would threaten to derail us.

i must admit i find myself the weaker one compared to ying ying. this is the first time i would dare say this but i have given in to temptations from my past. i was weak and immature during those times and sometimes when the temptation is a bit too overpowering, i buckle and give in. but that was something that is behind me now. a fresh start and a clean slate with ying ying is what i am starting with. and i am proud of myself that i am doing very well :) i could genuinely say that i have never been in this kind of situation before that i have someone that i am really afraid to lose. i got my first temptation a few days back in the form of a random girl in facebook messaging me and started chatting with me. i admit she has a pretty face and she was really a flirt and back then, i would have jumped on her the first opportunity i got but the thought of losing ying ying because i would hook up with this girl sent a shiver down my spine. it was decided then and there, that was a risk i would never take. for me, that was only a minor victory and it will only go harder from here and to be totally honest, i won't be giving out lofty promises because i might end up eating my words. but one of the things i am sure about right now is i will not take risks that would make me lose ying ying. it's fun and pleasing to discover that i have that capacity in me to resist temptations. i ended up shaking my head, smiling, and said to myself: "damn, i am really in love with this girl. i have never been too afraid to lose someone until now".

We will never know what life would bring that would totally alter us. it might be an event, a place, an animal, a thing, a person, and in my case, ying ying. she has already taught me a lot even without her trying to teach me. she made me realize a lot of things even though she hasn't told me a thing. i am just glad i am realizing a lot of things and changing them for the better. we still have a lot to learn from each other but who's in a hurry? we have our whole lives to live together :)